Parachute

Open! Open parachute.
I’m falling.
Open! Open parachute.
I’m pleading.
Pull. Tug. Scream.
Plummeting. Headfirst
Into the abyss.
Colours all a blur.
A vivid kaleidoscope.
Head spinning. Skull crushing.
Fingers broken.
Tug. Tug. Pull.
It releases!
Short lived joy.
As it snaps my neck.

It's Over

The blur. The speed. The silence.
“We’re over. It’s over.”
Simple words. Yet so hard to comprehend.
What did I do wrong? Is she over reacting again?
“We can’t be over. This is us we’re talking about! Things will be better in the morning.”
“No they won’t. This time it’s for real. We’re done. We’ll be done in the morning.”
Silence. Tears roll down his face.
“This is for real?”
“Yeah. This time it’s for real. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”
The words repeat in his head. More tears stream down his face. The silence is not golden.
He’s alone now.
The one thing he’s fought so hard to keep.
It’s gone.
Anger. Hate. His blood begins to seethe.
Why did he try so hard?
Every moment. Every day. He tried.
The pain. The hurt. He was patient through it all.
Through the rough seas he stood tall.
The fragments of his heart that she taped up dropped down
Broken pieces of glass now. Sharper than before.
In the blind he walks now.
Bleeding at every turn.
He’s got no one left. No one to hold his hand.
The glass cuts deeper. Droplets trickle down to his toes.
He screams. Silence.
There’s nothing left to say.
A stumble and a fall. The glass eats into his palms.
Burning them. Shredding his skin.
All of this pain is nothing.
Nothing compared to the void that’s left inside.
The hole in his soul.
He weeps a silent lament.
She’s not coming back.

Mother dear

Thank you for being there
Showing me that your always care
Never have your once wavered
You’re definitely the most savoured

Being with us through joy and pain
Helping us cope with stress and strain
Always giving never asking
A task that is indeed demanding

We are grateful for all that your do
For we will never be able to do it like you
The hundred and one things at a time
And still remembering to save a dime

For tolerating me all these years
You deserve more than a hundred cheers
Doing with what’s best in mind
You’re definitely one of a kind

We may soon have to part ways
But in my heart you will be always
On the other side of the world you may be
But I will still love thee for eternity

Thank you for giving me life
And being the most faithful wife.

A knights tale

The knight grows weary,
His shield, smashed
His sword, shunted and blunt.
Blood drips down his battered face.
A solemn thud as it hits the ground.

His fingers are broken.
Hands cut deep.
Scars that will last forever.
Yet his spirit is not deterred.
The thought of home
Comes to his mind.

Forcing himself,
Through the rain,
The blazing heat,
Toward home.
The one place that
He can call his own.

A long distance he travels.
The sole survivor.
Returning home.
Flag held high.

Finally he arrives,
He drops to his knees.
Rubbing his eyes,
He cannot believe what
He sees.

Devastation, destruction.
Everything ablaze.
With his last ounce of strength.
He rushes forward.
For an explanation
For what has happened.

But there’s no one in sight
Everyone dead. Gone.
Slaughtered by some foreign hand.
The agony. The anguish.
It’s all too much for the knight.
Tears of blood
He begins to weep.

No one to tell his tale to.
The victory he obtained.
Everything he knew
Everything he left behind.
All ashes now.

He finds his wife and child.
Raped before they were killed.
How he wishes he didn’t go
And leave them to this fate
Some knight he is.
One who could not protect
His people, his family.

He puts out the fires.
A gruelling process.
His body burned
And charred by the flames.
The with prayers to God,
He buries the dead.
A silent prayer for
Forgiveness as he
Covers them with earth.

After a few minutes of rest.
He sharpens his sword.
His last bit of energy spent
On planting his flag into the ground.
At the centre of home.
A last tribute to what was.

Resting his shield on a side
He swiftly strikes himself.
One clean blow
The sharp sword
Pierces his heart.

There’s no blood left in him.
Absolutely nothing.

Falling to his knees.

He finds his peace.

Bad habit

It brings me pleasure in times of pain.
Helps me suffer through the strain.
I'm ashamed, but I’ve got nothing to hide.
It’s my gentle suicide.
Living is impossible without it.
Life just seems like a bottomless pit.
Nothing left to lose, anything to gain?
In the end, is it in vain?

It’s a habit I'm trying to stop.
It tires me. I'm ready to drop
So far down, to the bottom of the sea.
Why am I writing this soliloquy?

Possibilities

All alone in my room I stare
Notoriously long at the painting you gave me.
Unmoved for hours, like a lion in its lair.
Remembering the times that you care so unselfishly.
And there’s so much more that I’d like to know.
Do tell me one day? We need to hang out more!
Hand in hand as we struggle through it together.
And the sweet memories, cherished forever.

I did not realise

I cannot say I know what it feels like,
To wake up in your eyes and watch,
Watch as everything fell apart.
It must have been a nightmare. Maybe worse.
Like the gates of hell we opened and
You were chucked inside.

All I can do is sympathise to you.
This pen and paper, the only way I can say,
I'm sorry, for making you relive all that.
The horror, pain, suffering and shame.
I'm sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate.
Wanting only my heart to be fulfilled.
I'm sorry for complicating your heart.
I should have stopped from the start.
The last thing you needed was me.
Complicating the situation, impeding your privacy.
No wonder your bubble exists. It’s your safe haven.
To get away from it all. A place of solace.
Where calm and peace suppress
The anger, hate, all that’s inside.

It’s amazing, you’re only fourteen.
You’ve been through hell and your still standing.
It’s not luck but your determination.
Your determination to make things right.
To restore the balance, to get things
To the way they once were.

I thank you for sharing.
Your little tale with me.
Your courage has no bounds.
I'm sorry again
For the way things turned out.
But it’s not over. So
Stay strong, you’ll survive the surge.
And know that I'm there.
Should you have anything else to share.

A better person

You’ve been through a lot. Much more than me.
Deserving this Bacardi since you handled it so splendidly.
You say its stupid, but you didn’t seem to have a choice.
I know what it feels like, the distance, the lack of their loving voice.
Love’s a bitch, that I know.
So why not just going with the flow?

You’re smart, cute, pretty and sweet.
Your future is bright. The world is at your feet.
I'm sure one day you’d fulfil your heart.
Don’t be like me and give up from the start.

Mind Made Up

I was a fool not to see from the start.
You never felt anything right from the heart.
Although it close to impossible to let you go.
That I must do. It’s something I know.

Your mind was made up, a long time ago.
I know that I should have let you go before.
Before it brought me to this. This heartache, pain and abyss.
The ever distant feeling of an unforgettable first kiss.

Conversation in my mind

Hey hey how are you?
I’m writing this as I think of you.
Writing about it is the only thing I can do.
I hope that all in your bubble is well.
It’s a place where you constantly dwell.
Maybe some day you’d invite me. That’d be swell.

As for time, it just flies by.
It only seems like yesterday that we said “hi”
And to you tomorrow may spell “bye”
But can’t we just give it a try?
Or are we going to watch as the moment passes by?
Or end up laughing, while enjoying a slice of pie?

It seems that your all stuck with glue.
How u do it is too good to be true.

A fools love

Broken hearts only mend
with the angel that God will send.
Its been ages since I’ve felt,
The Royal Flush my heart was dealt.
When I started to know you,
You stuck to my heart like superglue.

I’ve seen your flaws, they’re not grave.
The dark, false, harm and cold
I don’t fear. It makes you gold.

Don’t be sorry for what you’ve done.
Our times together have been fun.
I'm the devil for not being honest from the beginning.
I wish you could be part of the other life I live in.
The fraction of you that I’ve gotten to know.
Made me choose emotion and go with the flow.
At a fork we now stand.
The choice to make is yours at hand.

I'm sorry its you my heart had to lance.
All I’m asking is for a chance.
I'm not like the others, let me show you.
Maybe one chilly morning, it would be true.

The Sahara

A sandy mass of land is what it is to most people see,
But the king of queens is what she is to me.
Cloudless, sunny skies throughout the year.
And yet I am consumed with fear.

She stretches across for many a mile.
The breadth of her personality, her cheery smile.
Things that other do not often see.
That within her lies inner beauty.

And when it rains she springs to life.
Desert animals are free from strife.
A few days where everything is in bloom.
With new vitality she seeks a groom.
A few days longer, then she’s back to her doom.

Untitled

You think that I'm over you.
But that is so not true.
If only you know what I feel for you.
But then, you do not have a clue.

And it’s always paining in my head.
How can I forget all these things I’ve said.
These feelings, things I should dread?
Each morning I ponder as another tear is shed.

Bleeding Confusion

Quite amazing is what it is,
The fact that I love you.
Even though I know,
That deep down inside
I must let you go.

Only wishing for that chance.
The one that never came.
Often I fall while opening my heart
Destined to fail right from the start.

Yet it is still so hard
To forget what I feel for u.
Making my head spin and spin
Pondering, in consciousness and sleep.
Why? What? If? And how?
Can you still be the one?

Why am I bleeding inside?

A Piece of my Mind (Part 2)

The struggle continues.
My mind aches.
Split in two.
Shattered, constricted,
Bruised and bleeding.
Why me?
What did I do?
Do I deserve this?

Daddy’s not spoken
in three weeks now.
And poor mum,
standing there alone,
helpless.
Bullets whiz by.
She is hit.
Tears of blood
She weeps.
Uttering a solemn cry.
“Peace”.

But you still want
this fight to go on.
I’ve told you
A million times now
You’re better than me.
But you rub it in.
Take no mercy.
Another willful sin.

Oh Please listen.
These tears I sob
its not for attention.
Just a plea.
A silent cry to you
to stop this
childish acts
of foolishness.

The hatred between us.
So great it is.
I can’t believe
were brothers.
More than brothers.
Were twins.
You are my
Flesh and Blood.
And yet you,
Destroy me.
Feasting on my
Dying body and
Spilling my blood.
Hurting others.
Just to strike me?
I don’t believe you.
How could you be so selfish?
Shameless, arrogant!
Uncaring.

It used to be me
who was like you
are now.
But it seems
That we’ve changed.

I wish
we could start over.
Not fight anymore.
Not compare.
Just get along.
Have fun.
Be like Twins.
The flesh and blood we are.
The once and the same.
But it’s not what I want.
You don’t listen anymore.
Open your heart and
hear my cry.
U don’t even
Give a fuck about
Mummy and daddy
No more.

So all I ask is that
You listen to me.
As I try and save this family.
Dad and mum have given up.
Only I can help you now.
All I ask is for an ear.
I plead for just one.
But my plea
falls on the deaf.
You’re too good for it.
And so you don’t listen.
Keeping this fight raging on.
Can’t you see
that I’ve given up.
I surrender.
You win.
That’s what u always wanted
But even that
You don’t see.
All I want
Is peace.
But you still treat me
worse than a piece of shit
your little bitch.
The unwanted child.
That’s all I am in your mind.
An asshole is what you’ve become
Reflect back and see.
What a perfect brother
You used to be.

Why me? I ask again.
Only I can stop it.
But what do I do?
As stubborn as you are.
I pray for you.
I pray for my
Hate, the jealousy.
Cus you are
Better than me.
And yet you don’t see.
My proclamation to thee.

This is the cross that I must carry.
and I pray to God to help me.
My faith grows weary.
As you draw further away.
Causing more torment.
Ripping the love.
The family.

I am weak.
Can’t you see?
Don’t exploit me.
Heaven help me.
Why have you abandoned me?
I pray for a miracle.
To come save us.
You, me mummy and daddy.
Yet my only reply is silence.

The pain.
It’s unbearable now.
My heart.
Set up a skew.
In the flames of hatred.
The torment. Torture.
You ripping it to pieces.
Why?
Why me?
God help me.
Help me stop.
Help me stop this misery.
I have no more.
No more blood left.
My wounds left open.
Attacked by you.
Weak and vulnerable.
My faith grows weary.
My God. My God.
Why have you forsaken me?

A Piece of my Mind (Part 1)

Sorry for Saturday once again.
It was something that I had to tell you.
When I least expected it
You came along, opening yourself to me.
Taking my breath away.

The easiest things would have been to be patient.
Let time reveal the answers.
Or use my reason over emotion once again.
And be left wondering “what if?”

This time. This time I didn’t settle for what if?
Because my heart would not let me sleep.
You stormed right into my heart,
filling in the void.
Left open to the elements for too long now.
Feelings I’ve only felt once before
when my heart was last secure.

But then life’s all about taking chances right?
And so, now you know.


It is indeed you that I’ve fallen for.

>>Fear<<

I know he resides within me
The force that makes my head spin,
My heart skip a beat, my stomach flip over.
The darkness of it frightens me.

He terrorises me every day,
If only he would go away.
His force is too strong, and so,
I'm left stranded surrounded by him.

The cold chill down my spine,
The numbness of my brain.
To him it’s all in a days work.
Letting me suffer through the strain.

How can I conquer him when
He determines my actions?
Slowly he seals me inside myself
Until one day, lost forever I shall be.

Free

You’re the one who sets me free
The one I’ll love for eternity
Within you all I see
Are the missing pieces of me.
Sweet as possible as can be
Are you the one that’s made for me?

Answer that; only can she.
When her heart resides in me.
A fairytale ending would be lovely.
But this world is full of misery.
Will she make this dream true for me?
I still don’t deserve thee.

Darkness Approaches

Darkness approaches,
consuming the light rapidly.
But the soul is
trapped
Searching for it’s one place of solace.

The guitar stops,
the drums cease to produce
their beat;
paralleling the thump of my heart
the dull sound fading
with every passing beat
life becomes a mere memory

It is dark now
and I hear the gates
that await me
creaking open.
Slowly.

A new era has begun

Without Daddy

It’s been five days now,
since you last spoke to me.
Home has changed,
good times become a mere memory.
Oh what did I do to deserve this?
What happened to you? Why did you switch off?
The war rages on and neither side is willing to yield
I am stuck in the middle of this tormenting battlefield.
Great damage has been done
but the white flag is shown by neither one.

Oh how I wish that I didn’t have to go trough this.
Losing you is like falling into an abyss.
What strength does and orphan child posess?
To live in a world where parents don’t exist.

Looking at you is painful now
the glare you give me trickles sweat down my brow.
The coldness of your closed heart
seeps right through my life,
the pouring rain outside
only makes it colder.

Oh what did I do to deserve this?
Why cant things be normal again?

Why Her??

A few days ago I told her,
that she was the one I’m falling for.
“Why me” was what she said,
leaving my heart to ponder.

Remembering my first impression of her.
It was not ‘wow’ or ‘ooh’ I admit.
But all it took was ‘Happy bday’
and light burst through my door.

Understanding her is not a problem
cuz she’s quite the same as me
but different enough to keep me interested
in her uniqueity.

She’s always too modest putting herself down,
making me feel special and important.
She gives, never asks and then gives some more. Laughter is endless and ‘sorry got dc’ her catchphrase.

Music speaks to her along with poetry,
alleyways I love wondering down.
The first poem she gave me…. well it,
made some of mine drown.

Liqueur and drugs, no one says they’re good for you.
But they go hand and hand with us.
Shes got her bubble just like me
and even powers to go along with mine.

Random statements, conversations at dawn,
all to familiar with her.
School and life has changed with her
and my face does smile once more.

Explaining why her?
Can take forever.
But simply put;
She is unique.

My Greatest Distraction

She’s the one that I’m falling for,
Amidst all the others in the world.
And, is it love? Or just maybe a crush? I don’t know.
Really? Does she know that I feel for her?
Agony, as reason overcomes my emotions. Past experiences overcome me. I’m waiting,
Hoping that one day she realises that I’m falling for her.